THIS IS NOT STOCK! PLEASE DO NOT REDISTRIBUTE!

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Warning! Long random but heartfelt rambling ahead... (try saying that fast lol)

This has been sat on my HDD pretty much since I uploaded the original version last year, however, I was reading $realitysquared's journal the other day [link] which got me thinking. (I enjoy journals that make me think, but they are often hard to find... :/ )

I was in a bit of a rush when I made the original, it was for my site and I had no other versions in mind other than it needed to "fit" to the site design. Don't get me wrong, I like the original version, it works for the design it was meant for, but never really "did it for me" as a piece of stand alone artwork. So I dragged the original psd out of my archives and yesterday carried on messing about, and messed some more and did all sorts of crazy ass things you really wouldn't want to see until this appeared. Its not been touched for months... until a couple of days ago, and I'm pleased by how I've managed to make this a more cohesive image, and truth be told I'm secretly well pleased with myself lol.

The original has been one of my fave images to appear on my desktop from the huge selection of webshots I have and each time it appears I nod to myself and say, you know what, when you try, you can actually do a half decent job at this manipping lark but this one kinda lacks something extra... of course the other me sniggers and directs my attention back to the artwork I'm furiously faving and commenting on then whispers ^{"you've been doing this for 9 odd years, if you haven't learnt something by now its time to give up."}

I desire perfection, I crave it and long to be as good as some of the incredibly talented people on DA, and maybe one day I will be. The point is, if you don't strive to improve, if you don't continue to try doing the hard things every day, you slip, and other people overtake you on the way to achieving their version of perfection, and its depressing. I really feel for the very young members of DA, there is so much peer pressure and unkindness in the unhelpful critical comments that I'm not surprised when they turn emo/depressed/negative and join the brigade of unhelpful critical commenter's, because its the only thing they can be good at.

I've been though some shit, and I've seen my friends go through more shit than you could ever imagine possible, but each and every one of them has my respect and admiration and love, because not one of them has given up trying to do the hard things every day of their lives, and they are my inspiration, and the perfection I strive to achieve.

So if you are one of the people who has stopped trying to do the hard bits, don't give up! If you are one of the people who think they have already achieved their perfection, take another look and be honest with yourself. If you are one of those people who think beating somebody down for trying to do the hard bits every day when you do not, be ashamed.

Incidentally don't have a go at me just because I choose to watermark my work, if you don't like it, eff off and find some other body to irritate with your whining.

This is Autumns Regret Revisited, because for me, there is always room to improve, no matter how small the improvement may be, there is always another angle to try, or a different mood or feeling to capture, and I want to thank the people who make me question my abilities and push them further, to learn more and to be proud of the things I can create.

2008 will be better in so many ways, because my only aim this year to keep trying to do the hard stuff. I'm pretty positive I'm going to achieve something, just not quite sure what its going to be yet

Plus theres going to be cookies.... and you are all invited to the field trip



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Stock is my own personal stuff and the view from the window is from the private collection of =CausticStock
(Thank you honey once again lol!)

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ARTWORK COPYRIGHT ELANDRIA 2008
I DO NOT give my permission for this work to be reproduced, copied, edited, published, transmitted
or uploaded in any way, shape or form.